The Dish on Tipping

You have a girl in your life and things are going great. You have everything in common right down to hating the crust on your sandwiches. Things couldn't be better, but then she drops a bomb on you. Her parents are coming in to town to meet you, and they want to go out to dinner.

You wear your best shirt, you shower and shave, and head on out the door to meet the parents. You have prepared yourself for this moment. You order a partisan cheese plate to start with, and the seafood cioppino for your own course. A bottle of sauvigon blanc is ordered, and tiramisu for dessert. Dinner is going great as you look smart and sophisticated. You do the honorable thing and decide to foot the bill. That's when something disastrous happens. The dinner isn't too expensive, the problem is what to leave for a tip. You don't want to look cheap and leave too little, but you don't want to look like a fool and leave too much. That is where this handy little set of rules come in to play.

First of all, I have worked in the restaurant setting for some time now, and understand how everything works and what proper service should be. I also know what tips are proper for the service given. Without further ado, the answer to the age old question of "How much do I leave for a tip?"

When you receive the check after the meal ask yourself the following questions:

• Was I needy?
• Was my server friendly?
• Did they get my side of honey mustard in a timely fashion?
• Was my server knowledgeable?
• Was my drink always filled?
  
• Did my dinner come after my salad/appetizers in a timely manner?
  
• Was I offered any specials?
• Was I annoyed by my server?
• Did I feel like a guest rather than a customer at the restaurant?
• Am I wowed by the service?
  

This is just a general list, and there are other questions that you can ask yourself.

Really think if your server deserved a tip worthy of a high percentage. Servers have fallen into a belief that they should automatically get a good tip if they work in a nice restaurant, and they also believe that they are in control of the dinner setting, and they are the boss. These beliefs are false. The guest is always in control, and it is your money that you are spending. Tips are earned, not just given away. The amount of the tip depends on how good the service is. That is a golden rule that people tend to forget.

The tip amount should be used as a statement of how you feel the service was, and don't be afraid to sway to either extremes. A smart server will take a poor tip, and improve themselves to become a better server. If your side of ranch never arrives, your coke is always empty, and there are shrimp in your pasta even though you make it clear that you are allergic, don't be afraid to leave a bad tip, or even stiff. The server deserves 10% or less based off that service. On the other hand, friendly servers, who remember everything, quickly respond to your requests, and do the little things such as having the kitchen split your chicken pasta in the back so you don't have to, deserve more. They understand that you go to dinner to enjoy yourself, not to hassle yourself. They deserve the 20% tip. If the service you received is in the middle of that somewhere, then adjust accordingly. For an average serving job, 15% is a default percentage.

Now you're at the dinner table with your girlfriends parents, pen in hand and the check in the other. The cheese plate arrived quickly, the sauvigon blanc was presented in the proper fashion, and everyone's meals came out the way they requested. How much do you tip?